A Day in the Life of The Quartering

How Jeremy Hambly runs his mighty slop empire.

9:00 am: Wake up.

9:01 am: Check YouTube ad revenue numbers. Panic about revenues being down 22% from last month.

9:04 am: Check merchandise sales. Panic upon seeing no new sales.

9:07 am: Check X to find news story for first video of the day.

9:19 am: Check Elon Musk’s X feed.

9:27 am: Record video reacting to Musk’s most recent posts. Shill for paid sponsors.

9:53 am: Send video file to designated video editor on staff. Message designated thumbnail creator requesting thumbnail with “QUIT!” in bright red.

10:10 am: Order two McDonald’s Sausage & Egg McMuffins on Uber Eats for breakfast.

10:45 am: Upload first video of the day to YouTube.

10:53 am: Check X for next news story to cover. Find nothing.

11:01 am: Check YouTube analytics. Notice yesterday’s video about Karmelo Anthony got 72% more views than the other three videos from yesterday.

11:08 am: Google Karmelo Anthony. Skim most recent article on Google’s news tab.

11:17 am: Record a video of reading the most recent article on Karmelo Anthony. Include an ad shilling Coffee Brand Coffee for $20/bag.

11:44 am: Send files to editor and title to thumbnail guy. Ask thumbnail guy to include the phrase “too far”.

12:05 pm: Take a shot of tequila.

12:21 pm: Check YouTube ad revenue. Desperately hope first video gains traction.

12:52 pm: Upload second video of the day.

1:00 pm: Order Chick-fil-A Nuggets combo on Uber Eats for lunch.

1:27 pm: Wash down lunch with two cans of Budweiser.

1:53 pm: Check X for next news story to cover.